Tag Archives: sit

the cricket

I sit down on my cushions for my nightly meditation, tucking my feet in, straightening my back, lowering my eyelids, putting in effort to have no attachment to thoughts.

A cricket chirps loudly.

I hear the sound of my son turn another page in his book.

A cricket is keeping me company during my sit.

I hear my wife move downstairs, and a plane make its journey across the sky overhead.

I notice the rhythm of the cricket are in time with the melody of the beating in my chest, my breath in sync. The sound is quiet yet massive all at once, 10,000 Buddhas in all directions, all in sync, with nothing to be in sync with. I am not separate from this cricket. Suchness. All as it should be, nothing more, nothing less.

I decide I am finished, join my palms, and take refuge as I do every night.

I smile and thank the cricket.

A meltdown and a sit.

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Tonight was quite the night. It started off really well, we had dinner, then went out to play some Frisbee. Then it happened…. the meltdown.We ran the gambit of it all, from him crying, to yelling, to getting a couple little spankings, to calmly talking about what he was freaking out about. (Yes, calm worked the best, mindful I take that approach quicker next time.) Once we talked it out he had a quick shower and calmed down.

Afterwards, you could see that he was remorseful for his actions, but as a parent I felt it was better not to dwell on that, but to use it as an opportunity to grow.

So I asked, do you want to know what helps me stay calm?
Sure Daddy.
I sit. Do you want to try again to sit like Buddha?
Yes, I do.

So we go in the room and sit on pillows facing one another. I talk him through sitting down, straightening his back and neck like he’s holding up the ceiling with the top of his head, cross his legs, fold his hands, and we talk about breathing.

When you get a thought, let it come and go without attaching to it.
Why?
We are working on a clear mind. Thoughts will always come and go, but right now we’re working to calm your mind.
OK.

And we sit. He asks this; and I nod my answer. He asks that; I nod my answer. He asks something else; I smile and give a little motion to quiet. He looks here, there, and all around. Then you can see the tension go; it releases from him and you can see it.

He’s quiet for a while, just sitting. It’s been about ten minutes at this point. I calmly ask him, how is it?
Good Daddy.

And I tuck him in bed the for night. Calm. Hopeful I taught him half as much as he taught me.

Tonight I sat with my son

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I’ve been wanting to do this since he was born. Actually, since even before that. I have always known this would be a great way to teach him, but for him to be interested in meditation the timing had to be right. If I was to force it upon him I would be doing the opposite of what was intended. So, I waited until I knew the time was right.

Me: “I have an idea of what we can do later.”

Ian: “What is it Daddy?”

Me: “We can sit like the Buddha; I can help show you. Do you want to try?”

Ian: “Ok, we can try that.”

Perfect. He seemed ready and even interested.

So we did our usual routine, dinner, shower, reading, then get ready for bed. My wife and I have always had him on this nightly schedule during the week. Structure is extremely important and has been great for him. Not a strictness, but a structure. Tonight I was able to add something though.

Once he was ready for bed, he and I sat facing one another.We placed our legs in half lotus position. Placed our palms together in our laps. Straightened our backs. I showed him the most basic beginnings.

Breath in, breath out. That is one.

Breath in, breath out. That is two.

We did this to ten.

It was the first time he had sat, ten was enough. But he did it. Ian sat. May this help his path of mindfulness, no matter where that path takes him.

…joining palms