Tag Archives: meditation

Tucking in meditation

Last night, I did my normal routine of tucking the big man in to bed then going into the office for my nightly meditation. I started and I believe about 10 minutes had gone by before I heard

Dad, are you already sitting?

Yes.

Can you come in here?

Sure.

So I go into his room and he asks if I can sit with him for a couple minutes. I always enjoy this. The way I saw it, I didn’t have to end my meditation, this was just an extension of it.

I kneeled down next to his bed and placed my hand on his head as I usually have when I get to do this. Instead of just my own breath to concentrate on, I also had his. I noticed the minute he fell asleep (his breathing makes an ever so slight change, I noticed that years ago), and figured I was done meditating for the night as well.

Parents, if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend a “tucking in” meditation session every once in a while.

the cricket

1 Reply

I sit down on my cushions for my nightly meditation, tucking my feet in, straightening my back, lowering my eyelids, putting in effort to have no attachment to thoughts.

A cricket chirps loudly.

I hear the sound of my son turn another page in his book.

A cricket is keeping me company during my sit.

I hear my wife move downstairs, and a plane make its journey across the sky overhead.

I notice the rhythm of the cricket are in time with the melody of the beating in my chest, my breath in sync. The sound is quiet yet massive all at once, 10,000 Buddhas in all directions, all in sync, with nothing to be in sync with. I am not separate from this cricket. Suchness. All as it should be, nothing more, nothing less.

I decide I am finished, join my palms, and take refuge as I do every night.

I smile and thank the cricket.

365 days of meditation

1 Reply

Image from a retreat conducted at Hsi Lai temple in Sept. 2012.

On Saturday, October 6th, I marked 365 consecutive days of consistent sitting practice. Obviously, being a Buddhist, I had sat before this, but like many I know I hadn’t found I was being as consistent as I would prefer. Sure, there were times when I would sit every day, but there were also times when I would sit once a week, and, occasionally less than that. I had always found that ‘life would get too busy’ to sit on a consistent basis. I would be tired, too busy watching a TV program, working, or just plain forget. After beginning this challenge I had made for myself (I believe I had only mentioned it to my wife, and maybe in conversation with my friend Rev Danny) I found something about my previous way of thinking I was too busy; I was wrong.

Most who read this will have likely heard the old Ch’an/Zen saying “you should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour.” In my own practice, I have found there is a lot of truth in this. This saying says a couple things to me.

One – Find the time! No matter what you are doing in life, there are always a few minutes in your day that are free to sit. Twenty minutes is great, an hour even better, but, who can’t spare 10, or even 5 minutes to sit and breath.

Two – Sitting will, more often than not, have a positive effect on everything else you do. In my own experience, having a consistent sitting practice develops many things, concentration and calmness are two that come to mind now that help in daily life. Another that I experienced was an overwhelming sense of acceptance. Not in the sense of just accepting things as they are and forgetting about them, but, the ability to accept situations in one’s life, evaluating them with whatever wisdom one can muster up, and moving through. Mindfulness.

Developing a schedule for myself to sit was key to being successful in this personal challenge. I incorporated it into a nightly routine we already had in place for my son. Most nights, as he would do his nightly reading, I would go into the office and sit. However, this was not always the case, if I was out of town, I would sit beside my bed before going to sleep. If I was at a friends home, I would find a quiet place to sit (and yes, this got interesting at times). There were even a few times when my wife and I would be out late and she would drive us home so I could sit in the car. Meditation in a moving car is a challenge to say the least, but, I’m very grateful she allowed me to do this. In summary, I didn’t allow my location to become an excuse for myself to not sit, I looked at it as a tool to work on my practice. I can always use improvement.

There is an old story that i would like to end with;

A monk, coming out of a monastery under the leadership of Rinzai, met a party of three travelling monks belonging to another Buddhist school over a river on a bridge.

One of the three ventured to question the Zen monk:

“How deep is the river of Zen?”

The Zen monk, fresh from his own interview with Rinzai, who was noted for his direct actions, lost no time in replying.

“Find out for yourself,” he said, and offered to throw the questioner from the bridge.

I’m no Zen monk, but I will offer to throw you from the bridge, into the river of daily meditation.

I would also urge you to read words from Venerable Master Hsing Yun on the topic. A great place to start is his ‘Buddhism in Every Step’ series, booklet 41 ‘Meditation’, which is available for free, or for a small donation, at http://blpusa.com/41-meditation.

(I wrote this for an upcoming edition of our Buddha’s Light Magazine, offered at Hsi Lai temple. As we are not yet launching the electronic edition, I decided to also post here. I hope you enjoy.)

Slowly, working with present moment

1 Reply

This evening Ian let me know he wanted to sit with me. Admittedly, I am always excited when he decides he wants to try so we went right in after he brushed his teeth.

First, he decided to almost quit because he wanted to sit in his room, not where I usually sit. So, we moved the cushions to his room.

Next, he decided he would rather stick his tongue out at me while we sat. No big deal, just keep my eyes out of focus and let that pass as one does with the thoughts racing through your mind during meditation. (and of course, don’t crack up – because the little goofball is funny)

Next, he decided to get up and lay in bed; that he was finished sitting with Daddy. No big deal, we’ll try again when he’s ready to try again.

All of this gave me things to work with during my sit. I am always so excited when he wants to sit; don’t let my ego make him sit with me – he will when he is ready. Don’t attach to disappointment when he decides tonight isn’t the night to sit, just let it be.

I continued sitting, working with all of this, working in the present moment. Really, isn’t that the point?

The little goofball ended up fast asleep by the time I’d finished so I went to tuck him in. He must’ve been very tired as you could hear his breath. A sound I would rather listen to over any chanting I’ve ever heard… hearing your child laughing, or sleeping soundly is the most wondrous sutra there is.

A meltdown and a sit.

1 Reply

Tonight was quite the night. It started off really well, we had dinner, then went out to play some Frisbee. Then it happened…. the meltdown.We ran the gambit of it all, from him crying, to yelling, to getting a couple little spankings, to calmly talking about what he was freaking out about. (Yes, calm worked the best, mindful I take that approach quicker next time.) Once we talked it out he had a quick shower and calmed down.

Afterwards, you could see that he was remorseful for his actions, but as a parent I felt it was better not to dwell on that, but to use it as an opportunity to grow.

So I asked, do you want to know what helps me stay calm?
Sure Daddy.
I sit. Do you want to try again to sit like Buddha?
Yes, I do.

So we go in the room and sit on pillows facing one another. I talk him through sitting down, straightening his back and neck like he’s holding up the ceiling with the top of his head, cross his legs, fold his hands, and we talk about breathing.

When you get a thought, let it come and go without attaching to it.
Why?
We are working on a clear mind. Thoughts will always come and go, but right now we’re working to calm your mind.
OK.

And we sit. He asks this; and I nod my answer. He asks that; I nod my answer. He asks something else; I smile and give a little motion to quiet. He looks here, there, and all around. Then you can see the tension go; it releases from him and you can see it.

He’s quiet for a while, just sitting. It’s been about ten minutes at this point. I calmly ask him, how is it?
Good Daddy.

And I tuck him in bed the for night. Calm. Hopeful I taught him half as much as he taught me.

Finding community where you are (finding Sangha in our connected world) (#OMCru)

1 Reply

(I wrote this as an article for the upcoming issue of Buddha’s Light Magazine (available at Hsi Lai temple), but since we’re still working on that website, I thought I would post it here for anyone interested in reading.)

Historically, the term Sangha was once reserved for only referring to the monastic community. Over time it has gone on to be expanded into also including a group of Buddhist practitioners.

As Buddhists, we are each responsible for our own practice. No one can practice for us and we must make worthwhile decisions allowing us to practice. From a lay practitioner point of view this means different things for each of us, depending on our situation in life. For some, it means attending services at temple, meditation retreats, group study, and many other things. All are great ways to practice together and offer the practitioner time to work through their practice with others.

In an increasingly busy world, time with your Sangha can be difficult to come by. Our family, jobs, and multiple responsibilities in life always take our attention, and for most of us, become our practice. This is where the connected world can help. We now have tools to keep us within a Sangha of some sorts with the use of email, blogs, and even social networks.

My own sitting practice had been lacking for some time. I would always feel too busy, or have some other reason not to sit. In retrospect, these were all just excuses, and a great group of people on Twitter (a popular ‘social network’ site) has helped one another to sit more often. We call the group the ‘Online Meditation Crew’ and speak to one another throughout the day. People will ‘check in’ when they are about to sit, inviting others to sit with them. This is exactly what I needed. I don’t need to be a specific place when I sit, just find a somewhat quiet place and get to work. The sits are usually about 15 minutes, but really, the point is to develop consistency. Most of the time I find a quiet conference room at work and sit.

Many different Buddhist traditions are represented, and there are people all over the world participating. Fo Guang Shan – Hsi Lai will always be my Dharma home, and I recommend everyone who is able to meet with their Sangha in person as much as they can. But, in my busy world I feel very fortunate to be able to sit with my friends in this global Sangha we are all a part of.

…joining palms

Tonight I sat with my son

1 Reply

I’ve been wanting to do this since he was born. Actually, since even before that. I have always known this would be a great way to teach him, but for him to be interested in meditation the timing had to be right. If I was to force it upon him I would be doing the opposite of what was intended. So, I waited until I knew the time was right.

Me: “I have an idea of what we can do later.”

Ian: “What is it Daddy?”

Me: “We can sit like the Buddha; I can help show you. Do you want to try?”

Ian: “Ok, we can try that.”

Perfect. He seemed ready and even interested.

So we did our usual routine, dinner, shower, reading, then get ready for bed. My wife and I have always had him on this nightly schedule during the week. Structure is extremely important and has been great for him. Not a strictness, but a structure. Tonight I was able to add something though.

Once he was ready for bed, he and I sat facing one another.We placed our legs in half lotus position. Placed our palms together in our laps. Straightened our backs. I showed him the most basic beginnings.

Breath in, breath out. That is one.

Breath in, breath out. That is two.

We did this to ten.

It was the first time he had sat, ten was enough. But he did it. Ian sat. May this help his path of mindfulness, no matter where that path takes him.

…joining palms

Meditation: A simple starting point

1 Reply

Recently, my little sister asked for some basic instruction on how she could begin meditating. I wrote up a simple how-to about it, and sent it off to her. I also put out a little Twitter update stating I wrote one up and IntegralChaotic, a friend on Twitter, said they would be interested to read it. So, I have added it here as well. Keep in mind, this is a very basic starting point.

Much more detail can be put into a how-to of meditation, but I’ve always found this is a good place to start. And, even if you have meditated for years and get out of practice, this is a good beginning point.

If you would like to start – try this for 15 minutes:

- sit (this could be on the floor, or on a chair [to start with])

- keep your back straight, like you are holding the ceiling with the top of your head (but don’t over do it, you want to be comfortable)

- let your eyelids relax a little, not closed, but relaxed.

- rest your hands together in your lap

- breathe in slowly

- breathe out slowly

- clear your mind. (believe it or not, this is the hardest thing to do.)an easy way to start is counting your breath.

This is one of the basics, and to me, one of the best ways to start.

To do so, you would inhale, then count the exhale. Inhale, then count the exhale. A full in, then out would be 1 cycle.

Next full in, then out would be 2.

I’ve found that with my relaxed breathing, when I count my breath to 100, approximately 15 minutes have gone by.

So, not only does the counting help with timing your 15 minutes, it also helps you clear your mind. If you are concentrating on breathing and counting, and nothing else, the mind is therefore nearly clear.

I am always open to additions, comments, and any replies.

May it be helpful to you… …joining palms