Category Archives: Parenting

Pinewood Derby

This past weekend, the little man had his Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby race. This is an extremely fun event that we’ve looked forward to since last year. Each year, he draws out his plans for the shape of the car, then using a saw and a Dremel (borrowed from my friend Tony) we work on cutting out his racer:

Next is a lot of sanding. He does all of this by hand. I feel it is really important for him to do a lot of the design and work, part of the experience is learning to take pride in the work you put into something. If he designs and helps build a car, then sees his own creation race down the track he can see the results of his own effort.

Next, the little man paints his car. His latest ~~obsession~~ love is LEGO Ninjago, so of course he designed a paint job around that theme. It turned out great too.

Last, he and I work on the wheels and axles. I’m not going to give away any trade secrets here, but let’s just say it is all about ensuring the least amount of resistance when speeding down the track.

Here is a great shot of him and Momma on our way to the races.

Weighing in, adding just the right amount of weight to ensure maximum speed

Ready to check the car in. Once it’s checked in, the pit crew can no longer touch the car!

We had a great time watching his car speed down the track. He won every race he was in!!! Watch him leave the competition in the dust

After round 1, he was a very happy man

We enjoyed watching each race, seeing his efforts continue to speed past other racers. And, at the end of the rounds, he had 1st place in his age group!

and 4th place overall!!!

He even received a nice ribbon for all his hard work.

The Pinewood Derby was a great event again this year and we are looking forward to next year’s race.

Here is a link to the full set of pictures, and a few more videos:

2012 – Jan 28 – Cub Scout Pinewood Derby

Sand castles and waves, lessons in impermanence

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Had a nice time at the beach today with the little man. We were building sandcastles close to the water so we could watch the water come in and quickly wash them away. Seemed like a good time to discus impermanence.

“Can you think of anything that lasts forever and doesn’t change?”

“Sand, no. Water, no. Plastic, no. There isn’t anything that lasts forever without changing.”

“true”

And so we waited for the water to come in and wash away the sandcastle.

Of course, if impermanence does not happen quick enough, an 8 year old boy can act like Godzilla and help it along.

Slowly, working with present moment

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This evening Ian let me know he wanted to sit with me. Admittedly, I am always excited when he decides he wants to try so we went right in after he brushed his teeth.

First, he decided to almost quit because he wanted to sit in his room, not where I usually sit. So, we moved the cushions to his room.

Next, he decided he would rather stick his tongue out at me while we sat. No big deal, just keep my eyes out of focus and let that pass as one does with the thoughts racing through your mind during meditation. (and of course, don’t crack up – because the little goofball is funny)

Next, he decided to get up and lay in bed; that he was finished sitting with Daddy. No big deal, we’ll try again when he’s ready to try again.

All of this gave me things to work with during my sit. I am always so excited when he wants to sit; don’t let my ego make him sit with me – he will when he is ready. Don’t attach to disappointment when he decides tonight isn’t the night to sit, just let it be.

I continued sitting, working with all of this, working in the present moment. Really, isn’t that the point?

The little goofball ended up fast asleep by the time I’d finished so I went to tuck him in. He must’ve been very tired as you could hear his breath. A sound I would rather listen to over any chanting I’ve ever heard… hearing your child laughing, or sleeping soundly is the most wondrous sutra there is.

Flying the camera up on our kite

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We had a lot of fun flying the little man’s kite the other day and wanted to experiment with a camera. So, when I got home from work today we made a quick case for our Flip camera out of an old washcloth and some duct tape then headed back up to the field. The following video is what footage we captured. It’s very shaky, but still a lot of fun.

As you can see, the camera was a bit too heavy for the small kite we have, but it was still a worthwhile first attempt. Plus, now we have another fun project to work towards; building a bigger kite so we can film from a higher point in the sky.

A meltdown and a sit.

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Tonight was quite the night. It started off really well, we had dinner, then went out to play some Frisbee. Then it happened…. the meltdown.We ran the gambit of it all, from him crying, to yelling, to getting a couple little spankings, to calmly talking about what he was freaking out about. (Yes, calm worked the best, mindful I take that approach quicker next time.) Once we talked it out he had a quick shower and calmed down.

Afterwards, you could see that he was remorseful for his actions, but as a parent I felt it was better not to dwell on that, but to use it as an opportunity to grow.

So I asked, do you want to know what helps me stay calm?
Sure Daddy.
I sit. Do you want to try again to sit like Buddha?
Yes, I do.

So we go in the room and sit on pillows facing one another. I talk him through sitting down, straightening his back and neck like he’s holding up the ceiling with the top of his head, cross his legs, fold his hands, and we talk about breathing.

When you get a thought, let it come and go without attaching to it.
Why?
We are working on a clear mind. Thoughts will always come and go, but right now we’re working to calm your mind.
OK.

And we sit. He asks this; and I nod my answer. He asks that; I nod my answer. He asks something else; I smile and give a little motion to quiet. He looks here, there, and all around. Then you can see the tension go; it releases from him and you can see it.

He’s quiet for a while, just sitting. It’s been about ten minutes at this point. I calmly ask him, how is it?
Good Daddy.

And I tuck him in bed the for night. Calm. Hopeful I taught him half as much as he taught me.

Being present; a quick reflection on being a dad

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Had a lot on my mind the other night, there is an ongoing area of my practice that I feel must change soon. When by myself, this seems to be consuming me and I know it shouldn’t. I have noticed it keeping me from being present.

My wife had to work and the little man and I were hanging out riding bikes around the neighborhood. Even as distracted as I was, when your child is riding their bike, you must be paying attention – being present. Later, he was doing his homework as I was cooking dinner and I noticed myself distracted again. Just at that moment he gets my attention with “Daddy, can you help me with this?”. Time to be present, time to help with homework.

As I tucked him in that night, I took a deep breath and thought about what he taught me that evening. Being present…

…joining palms

picture: ‘super fast’ via flickr.com

letting go…

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ready for his 1st sleepover at a friends house, originally uploaded by mindonly.

Friday night, Ian had his first sleepover at a friends house. He was so excited, but admittedly, I had a bit of a hard time with it. I knew he would be fine, but I just have a hard time letting go sometimes. I know I have to do it – little by little as he grows up; but there really is no better way of learning what attachment means is there.

Daddy, what are those on your arm? (Bodhisattva Vows)

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Daddy, what are those, originally uploaded by mindonly.

son: “Daddy, what are those spots on your arm?” (pointing to my incense markings)
me: “Those are my incense markings, I got them at temple”
son: “Why?”
me: “Well, those are a reminder for a commitment I made for the rest of my life. ….And you know, you’re kind of part of that commitment”
son: “I should have those too!”
me: “well, that’s up to you. Someday, maybe you will. Maybe you will…”

================
for anyone unfamiliar, it is a (voluntary) part of taking Bodhisattva Vows. Most commonly done within a Chinese Buddhist order.
…joining palms

Ice cream logic

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had to share this one… sometimes the little man says the funniest things.

Setting: Ian and I are driving to Souplantation for dinner and it’s rather warm in the car. I start to roll down his window.

Me: “Let the air come in the window, it will cool you off”

Ian: <rolls window back up> “that’s ok Daddy, we’ll get ice cream at Souplantation and that will make me cold on the inside”

I love child logic.

the best gift ever

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the best gift ever, originally uploaded by mindonly.

On April 2nd, I turned 35. I had taken the day off so I could spend it with two of the most important people in my world. Dawn and Ian.

Dawn is lucky enough to be able to help at Ian’s school once a week; something I had been wanting to do. She mentioned it to the little man’s teacher the week before and they were able to make arrangements for me to go in and help on my birthday. So much fun!!! We got to help the teacher with tasks in the classroom, then, when we were done we were able to go in and watch a special science assembly they had. Half way through the presenter had all the kids stand up to do ‘the twist’ as a demonstration of getting the heart moving, and of course the teachers and parents had to dance along as well. His teacher giggled and asked “I bet you didn’t think you’d be doing this today”. I answered by telling her how much fun I was having. Once we got back into the classroom she went over a lesson by asking kids about their special assignment they had done the night before. After picking three kids that did not know the answer to the question, she picked Ian – who of course knew the answer!! So proud of him!

Later, we got to go spend the day at Disneyland as a family. Star Tours was my ride of choice (of course) and we had a blast all day.

But, before we left in the morning, my son handed me this card. Momma said he wrote it on his own without any help….. and yes, I’m not afraid to admit, a tear ran down my cheek.

……What a perfect gift to receive, I am the richest man in the world.

(more picks from the day here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mindonly/sets/72157616490599968/)