Monthly Archives: August 2013

Tucking in meditation

Last night, I did my normal routine of tucking the big man in to bed then going into the office for my nightly meditation. I started and I believe about 10 minutes had gone by before I heard

Dad, are you already sitting?

Yes.

Can you come in here?

Sure.

So I go into his room and he asks if I can sit with him for a couple minutes. I always enjoy this. The way I saw it, I didn’t have to end my meditation, this was just an extension of it.

I kneeled down next to his bed and placed my hand on his head as I usually have when I get to do this. Instead of just my own breath to concentrate on, I also had his. I noticed the minute he fell asleep (his breathing makes an ever so slight change, I noticed that years ago), and figured I was done meditating for the night as well.

Parents, if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend a “tucking in” meditation session every once in a while.

the cricket

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I sit down on my cushions for my nightly meditation, tucking my feet in, straightening my back, lowering my eyelids, putting in effort to have no attachment to thoughts.

A cricket chirps loudly.

I hear the sound of my son turn another page in his book.

A cricket is keeping me company during my sit.

I hear my wife move downstairs, and a plane make its journey across the sky overhead.

I notice the rhythm of the cricket are in time with the melody of the beating in my chest, my breath in sync. The sound is quiet yet massive all at once, 10,000 Buddhas in all directions, all in sync, with nothing to be in sync with. I am not separate from this cricket. Suchness. All as it should be, nothing more, nothing less.

I decide I am finished, join my palms, and take refuge as I do every night.

I smile and thank the cricket.

Minecraft

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The big man has been into Minecraft for a while now. He connects to multiple different servers across the world, including one run by an old friend. Just about every one of his friends plays Minecraft, he even has a meetup with a bunch of his buddies from Hacker Scouts once a month. He has a ‘Steve’ head, which is a cardboard box that is shaped like the main character, a foam pickaxe, and about a billion Minecraft t-shirts. We’ll just say Minecraft runs a close second to Mario and Luigi.

I rarely have time to play video games even though I really enjoy them, so I had always held back on getting myself an account. A few weeks ago that changed and I finally went ahead and bought an account. (a funny thing is, another good friend of mine told me yesterday that he’s done the same thing)

The big man and I have been really enjoying it. We rarely connect to anything besides the ‘LAN world’ we created here at home, but, that is perfect. He and I have been creating a world with buildings, a castle, a mansion, a swimming pool, cave, and even a roller coaster! Just he and I.

Today while I was clearing out a cave near our swimming pool, he built a bunch of furniture in our mansion. Check out his DJ booth: (if it doesn’t load, refresh the page, Vine is wonky from time to time)

I have really been enjoying our time playing. We work together to build our own little world. Any other moms or dads out there play? Would love to hear about your experiences as well.

familiarity

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Getting rid of things is a task many of us striving for a new minimal way of life; removing, donating, purging. As a recovering pack-rat this is one of the hardest things I’ve tried to do for myself. There is still a hesitation when I look at my stacks of magazines I know I’ll never go back to read again. A hesitation before I remove the stack of t-shirts I haven’t worn in more months than I can remember but keep around ‘because I like them’. A hesitation with piles of things I am keeping ‘just in case’.

I have often wondered why.

Why isn’t it easy to remove this item. When I am honest with myself I know I’ll never use it. And even if I may think I will use it, when? In the next year? Doubtful.

However, I think I have figured out why I hesitate. I can even sum that up in one word….

Familiarity

I’m used to having this stuff around me. It, or something like it, have always been there. I am not going to place a value of good or bad on this, it just is what it is. I’m familiar with my stacks of things.

At the same time, I am tired of this being a familiarity. It is taking up too many cycles of my attention.

Time to become familiar with being a new way to live. Less junk to pay attention to = more attention for the things that matter. This is why I’m working on a version of minimalism that works for my life. I have better things to devote attention to. Time with my wife and son, time improving, time enjoying life. Now, I’ll still have things; but, only when they add value to what is truly important.

I am extremely fortunate

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My wife and son have been away for the past few days. They went on a trip to see some friends of ours. I have too much going on at work to be able to join them.

A few friends have asked if I am enjoying my bachelor time.

It’s ok, but it has given me time in the evening to reflect on life. Also, it confirmed something I have always known; I am extremely fortunate.

I am married to my best friend in the world, and I miss her a lot.
I am Dad to my best buddy in the world, and I miss him a lot.

Now, don’t get me wrong, quiet time is nice now and then. I think we all need quiet time on a regular basis. It is beneficial to have. But, I’m fortunate to be happily married. I’m fortunate to have an amazing boy who calls me Dad.

Life is good.

What did you remove today

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In my slow but relatively steady move towards a version of minimalism that fits my life, I have decided to remove at least one thing every day this month. Continuing to ‘clean things out‘. It may be a small goal, but it is reachable. It may be a short amount of time, but it is a commitment that will (hopefully) be easily accomplished.

It can be done.

To assist myself with this task I have set up a couple automated reminders.

A 7:00 AM reminder in my Google Calendar:

This starts my day with a reminder of the goal. It also put another thing in my inbox, forcing me to think about it, also forcing me to take action to I can delete that email.

A 8:30 PM reminder in my Google Calendar:

Accountability – it asks the question assuming the task is done, and has a link to where I have decided to log everything this month.

My Fargo.io ‘Getting Rid of Things’ log:

“Fargo is a simple idea outliner, notepad, todo list, project organizer.” Fargo is an interesting, fairly new site built by Dave Winer. (Yes, that Dave Winer, the same guy that wrote the 1st blogging software, and RSS, among others.) I find it perfect for this; web-based, uses Dropbox to store the file, simple.

In people’s own journeys to de-clutter and de-stress their lives, I’ve read a lot of different approaches; from having a packing party, to the approach I am working on this month. There was a great post on Becoming Minimalist today: 10 Decluttering Principles.

We will see where this road goes.

laundry and suffering

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The big man and I were cleaning his clothes out yesterday and once we removed everything he had outgrow, decided it would be good to wash all his t-shirts. He had so many in his drawer that it was overflowing (and a side effect of the overflow was wrinkles). He’s been very helpful with folding, but this time he decided to sit on the couch and whine a little when I said it was time to help.

I took that opportunity to talk to him about his reaction and suffering.

“You know, how you react to this task is only affecting you”

“I don’t want to fold”

“It’s not my favorite thing to do either, but, how I react to it directly relates to whether it is hard to get through, or easy. You see, if there is something I don’t particularly enjoy doing, I can make a choice; do I decide ‘this is horrible, I hate this’, or, ‘this isn’t my favorite thing to do, but I can get through it pretty quick so no big deal’. If I choose the first reaction, I suffer. However, if I choose the second, I don’t, and I also usually get through the task much quicker. Which do you think would be the better decision?”

“Saying it’s no big deal.”

“Yep. Do you know where I learned that?”

“Your Dad?”

“Great guess, but actually, it was <I point my eyes up and to the left, towards our Buddha that sits in the front room>”

“From Buddha. <as he smiles>”

“Yep. That is one of the most basic, yet, most important teachings. It is also why I sit every night. So the mind I have when I sit, can be the mind I have when I work on a task that I don’t particularly care for.”

“<he smiles some more> OK”

And you know, we got through folding that laundry basket full of his t-shirts pretty quickly.

Dad’s dream car

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Got a text from Mom with nothing but a picture, and the word ‘Wow!’ yesterday:

My Dad has been talking about getting a Porsche for as long as I can remember, so I asked if we’d see that in the driveway. Mom replied “Yup, Dad is purchasing it right now. OMG.”

Cracked me up. Glad he finally went and did it.

A couple hours later, I received another text with a picture:

Look at that. I really need to go visit soon!